I was recently advised by a loved one, that there is something that I do with my friends and family that is not socially acceptable. Use their toothbrushes? Double dip my chips in their onion dip? Write on their foreheads with permanent marker? Lick their elbows? Nope! I was told that telling the truth is socially unacceptable. Seriously? I know that’s a lot of question marks to have in the first paragraph, but I’m just trying to get a point across here, you know? Needless to say, I was taken aback by that bit of information.

Let me get this straight, not only do I have to censor myself before I speak to make sure what is going to leave my mouth is “politically correct”, but I also have to make sure I’m not going to hurt anyone’s feelings by telling the truth? That’s just awesome! What happened to freedom of speech? That is an amendment in the Constitution;I’m sure of it. In fact, it’s part of the Bill of Rights.

I never intentionally try to hurt a person’s feelings, but at the same time, I don’t like tiptoeing around a topic. If I think a subject needs to be approached, I quickly do so. I don’t have time to drop hints and hope the intended party figures it out. I also don’t want to hear the truth from someone else on another person’s behalf either.

Um, Haycomet, you know, some adults don’t like it when others bring brownies to their parties. Some people like lower calorie desserts because they are trying to lose weight. You know? Maybe a nice fresh fruit plate would be nice. That is if you were ever going to bring a dessert to a party. I’m not sure if you have ever brought something sweet to anyone before, but I hear that fruit is all the rage right now.

That translates to, “Jane was ticked off that you brought brownies to her party while she was on a diet.”  Now this is just an example, but I’m sure you get my point.  What would have been even better is if Jane had just told me to bring something healthy when I asked her if I should bring my famously rich mocha brownies, instead of saying, “Oh, you can bring anything, I know how you love to bake.”  I’ve heard that answers like that are common, and it’s a person’s way of trying not to hurt someone’s feelings.  That’s fine, but what isn’t fine is when Jane will go around and complain to all of her friends and make a martyr out of herself: “Oh, I didn’t want to hurt Haycomet’s feelings, but she really should have known better, what a stupid inconsiderate witch!”

Getting the truth out of someone shouldn’t require puzzle solving skills or a lot of time. I don’t need a riddle, just come out and tell me the straight raw truth! I love it when people are direct.  Especially when I ask a question.  I don’t have to like the answer; I just appreciate the honesty.  If I have a problem hearing the truth then that is an issue I have to deal with on my own.  Now, as my husband has also told me, there is the issue of tact.  Like I mentioned before, I don’t try to hurt feelings.  I can empathize with anyone; ask my husband.  I even defend the people that cut him off in traffic and the ones that are rude to his face.  So I do know how to put myself in another person’s shoes- though I have really big feet for a chick – so it’s not always easy.  Yes, being tactful is important when telling the truth.  Knowing where, when, and how to approach a subject is essential.  No, I’m not going to go up to someone and curse at them or call them names, but I will be direct and succinct.  I’m also not going to try to “air things out” over a text message either.  I have had to use an instant messenger before, but it wasn’t my preferred method.  I think it’s best to be face-to-face with someone when having an important conversation.

If telling the truth is socially unacceptable, then I’ll just deal with being a social pariah. I would rather be hated for telling the truth than liked for being fake.  I think I have a natural talent for detecting fakeness.  Basically my skin tries to crawl off of my body and I want to puke.  My “fakeness detector” goes off mostly around women, but I have had it tripped by a couple of men too. Needless to say, that is why I have more guy friends than I do female ones.  I know that people I know personally are going to read this.  Some may even take offense to it.  Trust me, if I have a problem with someone, it’s been addressed. This rant is for the purpose of helping people realize how the truth is told to them. So relax, but if you do have something to say, for the love of all things true and pure, just say it.