Posted by Haycomet
*Dusts off old Talkboy, inserts new batteries and cassette tape, turns it on, taps on the mic*
Comet’s log, 3.16.20
Oh my God, this thing still works!
I have departed normal everyday life. My co-workers and I have been “heavily encouraged” by our employer to work from home due to the COVID-19 virus. I won’t bother sharing my opinions on the craziness that has ensued since the virus started being reported on the news and discussed on social media, I’m sure everyone knows.
Last contact with lifeforms (other than husband and dog) – 2 days ago, D&D game with friends (I’m playing a Kalashtar Sorceress if anyone cares)
Rolls of toilet paper remaining: 8
Slices of bread left in the bag: 9 (including the heel…I like the heel, it’s underrated)
Work: After struggling with getting connected to the VPN this morning, I had a successful day of work. My office is set up in my daughter’s old room and I sat at a small desk next to the window with the blinds drawn. I heard many things from this window, including the chattering of an unidentifiable bird or animal, and the incessant revving of a sports car.
What I learned about my new neighbors across the street: The father of 3 has about an ounce of machismo left and he’s holding onto it with all that he’s got. The revving was his Corvette…his 2 seat-having Corvette. I think he needed groceries but had to make several trips because the car only had enough room for one bag at a time. He would floor it down our short street, then the sound would muffle when he pulled it into the garage. An hour later he would repeat the process.
What I learned about my 60-pound, 8 year-old pitbull: He has understood the English language this entire time. I decided to talk to him in the same way as I do with people, and he did exactly what I asked him to do. I think he appreciated the fact that I didn’t affectionately call him my “sweet baby boy” after every sentence. I’m going back to calling him that tomorrow because I can’t help it, he is my sweet baby boy.
What I did with the time it typically takes to commute to work and back (1h 30m): I made homemade flour tortillas after work. I even took the time to smear a spearmint mud mask all over my face (whether or not my pores enjoyed that girly stuff has yet to be decided).
My advice for others who are having to practice social distancing: Now is the time to try something new. How about a new haircut? Yep, do it yourself! Watch a how-to video or just say, “Screw it!” like I did, grab your scissors and just start cutting. The way I look at it, I have a minimum of 1 week to work from home. That’s enough time to get through the awkward stage of a new cut. You could even try a new hair color, there will be plenty of time to reverse it back to your old one.
Current Realization: Mr. Corvette just left his house again, good grief, what does he need at this hour? Also, I just opened my last bottle of spring water… Tap water is in my near future… God help me!