I would like to wish everyone a merry Christmas! Today is Christmas Eve and all of my presents are wrapped – there’s a first time for everything. The stockings are hung by the chimney with disregard for fire safety. I even decorated my desk at work about two weeks ago. Overall, despite not having a Christmas tree this year, I feel that I am more prepared than I’ve ever been for this upcoming day. I’ve been trying really hard to be in the “Christmas spirit” even though the commercialism and materialism have sullied the meaning of Christmas; I keep on wishing people I see and those I speak with on the phone a merry Christmas.

This is evidently where I am going horribly wrong. I have been told that I am not being politically correct with my Christmas wishes of merriment because not everyone celebrates Christmas. I’m supposed to say “Happy holidays!” To this, after much empathetic thought, I say, “Get over it!” Seriously, I’m not telling anyone to go to hell. I’m not telling anyone that she’s fat or he’s bald. I’m not calling anyone a derogatory name. I’m saying that I hope a good day is had, and that day happens to be called Christmas. I might as well be saying, “Have a terrific Tuesday!” or “I hope you have a wonderful Wednesday!” Christmas is a recognized day on the calendar and I hope that day isn’t horrible for you… That’s it!

You won’t hear me complaining that Christmas, which is supposed to be celebrating the birth of Jesus, is being held in the wrong month altogether! Yeah, that’s right, Jesus was most likely born in September, not in the middle of winter! I still go with it though, because at least his birth is being recognized… At least by some. If people want to get offended, it shouldn’t be because someone is wishing them a merry Christmas! Be upset that the true meaning of the day is being smothered by cologne commercials that don’t make any damn sense! Be mad that kids will be crying because they didn’t get as many presents as they wanted. Be outraged that more money is being spent on ornaments, trees, and garland than is being donated to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital!

If a man walked up to me and wished me a happy Chanukah, I would say, “Thank you! Happy Chanukah to you too!” I wouldn’t tell him that he was being disrespectful. In today’s society, I am just utterly thrilled to have someone say anything even remotely pleasant to me. It’s hard enough to find someone who will even return a smile or a hello. So wish me a super Saturnalia, because that’s why we are celebrating Christmas in December; I won’t beat you up for it. I won’t sue you either. So merry Christmas everyone! Go out and spread tidings of joy… Yule be glad you did!