A new career, a new car, another new car, a frisking, and an ankle brace – that’s what the last few months of my life have been made of. Yes, I ended that sentence with a preposition, but anyone who knows me should take that abomination of a sentence as a clue to what the last few months have been like. Sure, new cars (plural) sounds great, but just keep reading.
Let’s start with the new career; I am now a software tester. If I had been asked ten years ago if I would ever be doing this, I would have thought I wasn’t qualified. Now I can’t imagine doing anything else. For the first time in a long time, I love what I do. The new place is clean and modern, there’s a walking track on the second floor, and free sodas and coffee in the break room. Dress is casual, and I’m surrounded by people who are just as awkward as I am – developers. So I don’t have to worry about striking up a conversation, because most of the time the person next to me can’t even make eye contact. Awesome!
The only downside to my new job is the distance. I used to drive to work in fifteen minutes; now it takes me forty-five. This meant I needed a reliable car, which we did not have at the time, so we financed one. Three weeks after I bought it, I flipped it. You read that correctly… Flipped it end over front. It was the beginning of my third week at the new job, and I was about twenty yards from its entrance. I had to take a left turn, north, across three lanes of traffic and I had a big box truck directly in front of me waiting to take his left turn south. After waiting a couple of minutes, I finally had an opening, well… I thought I did. Just as I made my turn, I saw a black Honda headed toward my bumper, the truck had blocked it from my view. I heard a crash and saw the color beige.
Beige was the color of the airbags – they were everywhere. When everything settled, I was staring at a shattered windshield with asphalt directly on the other side of it. I was suspended from my seat belt. Many people gathered to help, and by the grace of God, I walked away with a broken thumbnail and a bruise. The new ride was totaled and I had done all of this in front of my coworkers. What a way to make a name for myself! It took over a month to get the insurance stuff settled and get another car. I never really liked to drive, but now I’m scared and hate to drive at all.
My new career involves a little bit of travel. So for the first time in six years, I boarded a plane. I wasn’t used to the new security procedures, and on the flight to my client’s site, I was spoiled by being chosen for pre-screening. I thought this was a bad thing at first, but was told I could keep my shoes and belt on, and put my bag of toiletries back into my luggage- I was relieved. On the flight back however, I wasn’t as lucky. I had to step in the tall tube and hold my arms up while something straight from The Jetsons peeped through my clothes. I exited the tube only to be abruptly stopped by a woman wearing blue gloves. I was nervous. Before the scan, I had listened to the TSA agent and emptied my pockets of all metal and placed it in a bin, so what was the problem? I was told I had something in my pockets. Yes, indeed I did: my driver’s license, a tissue and a mini lipstick. By the reaction of the woman in front of me however, one would have thought that I had managed to fit drugs, a couple of exotic animals, and a few knives into my pockets. I was lightly frisked, given a stern talking to, and then released. Next time, I think I’ll just drive… Wait… I don’t like driving. I’ll ride a train maybe?
So how does the ankle brace come into the story? Well, two weeks ago in our cafeteria at work, I had just prepared myself a huge salad and was walking over to join my friends at a table. For some reason though, our salad bar is up on a platform and there are three steps to descend in order to get to the aforementioned table. My right foot landed on the top step in a bad position and my ankle twisted. My left foot didn’t know what the heck was going on, so in front of a huge cafeteria full of my coworkers, I fell. I fell HARD! My body went down onto the unyielding ceramic tile floor, and my salad took flight (it didn’t even get frisked first). For anyone who might not have seen me fall, the loud clatter of the plate made sure they were at least directed to the aftermath. My boss rushed to my side to make sure I was okay. He advised me to go to the doctor to get checked out and pointed out the ranch dressing on my face and in my hair so that I could wipe it all off. And there’s another preposition at the end of my sentence… You’re just going to have to deal with it. I took his advice though, and two days later, when I could barely move, I went to an urgent care clinic. This is where after at least seven x-rays, I was fitted with a brace on one ankle, a bandage on the other, and handed some prescriptions to get filled. I received a breakdown of the bill yesterday and have vowed to never go back to that clinic. I’ll rub some dirt on it, and make myself “walk it off” before I ever go back to that place again! Now I’m wishing I had opted for the low deductible insurance.
I am still loving my new place of employment, but at the same time, I wonder if any of this stuff would have happened at my old job. I drove to and from that place for twelve years straight, and never had a car accident. I walked around that old place for twelve years, and never hurt myself. Is this new place a jinx? My husband says this stuff is happening because I finally ventured out of my little bubble. I don’t know if that’s the case. I do know the things that have happened to me are nothing compared to what others are going through, so I really shouldn’t complain. I am very thankful to be alive after that horrible accident, and I have had many positive things happen in the last five months as well. It is also great to be writing again; I’ve really missed it. Ha! Didn’t end that sentence with a preposition!
In five words, can you sum up some crazy things that have happened to you this year?